We left Columbia this morning… and I cried. Silly right? The last week I have been grieving and it just came out in tears. I will miss knowing right where a cup is to make a cup of tea and where the crackers and cheese are when I need a snack and where my toothbrush and toothpaste are. I know that sounds funny but if you saw how my backpack is packed and how many pockets it has you would understand what I mean about wondering where the toothpaste is….anyway I walked thru the house and said “goodbye house”…and got in the car and started to cry. I do feel a bit sorry for Roger. I know if its hard for me to understand my emotions he must be pulling his hair out (nevermind -he doesn’t have hair J )
I have been grieving a lot of losses this week and its just the way I deal with things. So after a good cry and a long time of interce and acknowledging I was missing my kids, my friends, my normalcy and thinking of Lucas and Jamie as they have moved this week to Siberia and realized they must feel what I was feeling times 10 (which made me cry again ) I gave things over to Him…releasing it all and gave myself permission to let go and look forward to what is ahead. When you think about it…nothing is ours to begin with..it all is and so why is it hard to let go of it and trust Him with the people and things in my life? Long ago He taught me the principle of thanking Him for all things and when I do that it all makes sense. It is so freeing to thank Him for it all and so that is what I did as I took my turn driving. He was faithful in taking it from my heart and so I thank Him for that too.
So we made it to my sister and brother in laws beautiful farm. I love it here. It is so peaceful and pretty. A good way to start a trip.
So tomorrow we fly out . I am EXCITED now. We are going to Italy. I can’t believe it but we are….really!!
i'll comment! yes, i'll be the first. i love you and miss you and REALLY enjoy your writing. you have a beautiful way of expressing yourself, and it feels like you're just sitting here on my couch. love you so dearly and will be praying along the way. do not miss me too much --- i'll bug you plenty enough to hold you over til you're home again. enjoy every minute of your once-in-a-lifetime trip around God's beautiful world. xoxo
ReplyDeleteJan, thanks so much for sharing from your heart. Each confession reminds us that we all deal with life here on earth with trepidation. When we open our hearts it gives the opportunity to hold each other during these times. I know the excitement of joy and sadness with each move and I am enjoying being able to go with you guys via the blog. So keep it going and know that we are with you. love abby
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to cry and I'm sure Roger is okay with it, too. =) I would've done the same thing! While we miss you already, we are all looking forward to reading your blogs about your adventures across the world. We will keep you in our prayers for safety, FUN, and NO LOST LUGGAGE!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Do you think Liberty will keep a blog, too?? =D
you are all sweet... thanks for posting...its fun to read :)
ReplyDeletei LOVE the 4 kisses in the airport and hope they were all you and Roger!! :)
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